Christmas is a time of expectation and joy. It falls within a few days of the winter solstice, the time when the darkest days are over and the earth awaits the slow return of the sun. We celebrate the rising of the Sun of Righteousness, we sing carols about joy and hope, and our children do pageants remembering the joyful birth of a baby two thousand years ago. Advent reflections are full of thoughts of birthing new life and looking forward in our lives. But, I wonder, how often do we reflect on just how painful birth can be? The picture above reminds me of just how difficult and bloody birth can be, and reminds me just how lonely and isolated the birth of the Bethlehem babe must have been.
It also reminds me of how painful the bringing forth of new life can be. When we allow ourselves to be pregnant with possibilities, with life, with hope, we also invite pain and birthing. It is not always a fully pleasant experience. We experience waiting and pain and labor in both our personal and collective lives.
I think about what the journey has been like for women seeking equality in a patriarchal world and, pertinant to my context, seeking the right to preside at the table, to re-present Christ at the altar.
Susan Ross quotes Frances Frank in her poem on this struggle;
Did the woman say,
When she held him for the first time in the dark of a stable,
After the pain and the bleeding and the crying,
"This is my body, this is my blood"?
Did the woman say,
When she held him for the last time in the dark rain on a hilltop,
After the pain and the bleeding and the dying,
"This is my body, this is my blood"?
Well that she said it to him them,
For dry old men,
brocaded robes belying barreness,
Ordain that she not say it for him now.
For a better part of my life, I struggled with a call I was told could not exist because I was a woman. There was much pain in the birthing of new possibility in my life. I have faced and continue to face the angst and the pain of birthing new life, new possibilities. I am grateful to have found competent midwives-- in the church, in seminary, in all the friends who have supported me through this time of new discovery. It may be painful, but it also wonderful to bring new life into the world.
