My priest gave a beautiful sermon today that really touched me. The lesson was on Psalm 22 and he spoke about how we often feel abandoned by God. The psalm is often on my mind, especially in difficult circumstances. Sometimes God seems very far away and just as often I feel doubt as to his call on my life. The way forward seems murky. However, the sermon pointed out that, like Mother Theresa, many find that it is in this place that God uses them most-- out of our broken lives and questioning hearts God brings us to place to minister to others. Perhaps it is because we feel ourselves on the margins at those times and get a glimpse of human suffering and pain that gives us the ability to relate to others.
It is interesting; the past year has been one of intense doubts and questions and times when I've wondered if God is even there. Yet I have also come to understand human need so much more, learning to see the face of Christ in the poor and lonely. And I am ok with the questions, the doubts. The "dark night of the soul" can be a rich, though painful, place of learning.
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